Mainstream Music & It’s Message (Love the Way You Lie??)

Rihanna

It’s not hard to see that Rihanna has gone from a really tame image to what she portrays today. All you have to do is look at her previous album covers. The previous album covers in question are quite modest compared to album covers nowadays. Just check out this one cover for the single she did back in 2010, “I love the way you lie.” Of course featuring Eminem, who is also a great role model, not.

 Love the Way You Lie

What a line, eh? Does this really mean that women really like it when guys lie? Absolutely not. This song on the other hand promotes women to accept this behaviour. Which is: ridiculous! “Just gonna stand there and watch me burn, that’s alright because I like the way it hurts.” This line right here says that it is okay to be in an abusive, painful and unhealthy relationship. This is not the case. Nor is it healthy to thrive off pain the way Rihanna is singing about. “Just gonna stand there and hear me cry, but that’s alright because I love the way you lie.” This is condoning the fact that problems in the relationship are not being talked about. This is not okay. The man in the relationship is just going to stand there while the woman cries? Um, hello? Does this sound right to you? Exactly this is not right nor is it ‘alright’ because I ‘love’ your lies.

Eminem’s Part

An excellent relationship right here.

“High off of love drunk from my hate, it’s like I’m huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer.” Love is not something to get ‘high’ off of. It is entirely possible to get high off of emotions. This is not a healthy habit to get into because you do not care about the person, you just care about getting high off of the emotion they evoke in you. He talks about the more pain he experiences the more he loves it and gets ‘off’. Er, now this is not my ideal relationship. Absolutely, unequivocally not!

“I suffocate and right before I’m about to drown she resuscitates, she f***ing hates me, and I love it.” Yet again another unhealthy relationship behaviour. Pain is purposely brought to one person in the relationship and is given relief at the last possible second only to have this cycle repeat itself endlessly with less than stellar results. “You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe, [got that warm fuzzy feeling now you’re getting sick of looking at them].” Yeah that is not love. More like ‘lust’. Like when you pick up some stranger in a bar, sleep with them then start a ‘relationship’ the next day. When all of a sudden it’s not going so well and you are getting quite annoyed with them.  This is really doing things backward and doing a number on your heart and soul. Eminem talks about how he swore he would never hurt the other person then sings,

“You push, pull each other’s hair, scratch, claw, bit’em, throw ‘em down, pin ‘em so lost in the moments when your in ‘em.” So is it fair to say in court, “Sorry Mr. Judge I got lost in the moment.” Hmmm? Think that would go over so well? “ It’s the rage that’s the culprit, it controls you both.” Now this can be true if an individual doesn’t practice self-control then the emotion has full rein and you are at the mercy of it. Then again what sets us apart from animals is that we have the choice to refrain from fulfilling every urge or emotion that comes and goes. That being said we can and we do have a choice to either let anger control us or we tell anger whose boss. So how’s it going to be?

“[But your temper is just as bad as mine is, maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems, I apologize even though I know it’s lies.” Does this sound like your relationship? It would be most unfortunate because both men and women deserve much better. Men and women have infinite worth that deserves to be cherished and not to be inflicted with pain. So just because their tempers are just as bad that makes it okay? This is called justifying and no that doesn’t make it right. ‘Maybe this isn’t as crazy as it seems’ this is called minimizing. Making it seem less than it actually is. That is not good either.

Now for the grand finale, “If she ever tries to fu**ing leave again I'm a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.”

Does this really sound like the relationship you would like to have? Be honest with yourself and really try to answer that as best you can.  This quote from the song depicts the fact that there is no freedom, no choices in this relationship. It is either stay and live or leave and die. Which one would you choose? They are both rather negative. Not to mention it is quite a violent way to deal with rejection. Definitely not the best coping mechanism.

So You May Be Wondering…

Why exactly I wrote this? Well partly because I am an ex-listener of Rihanna and today I heard, rather vividly, my neighbors having a very intense spat which included him locking her out. Then she somehow got in and he yelled for someone to call the cops. Now it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to say she may be quite abusive not to discount the man’s role in this as well. When a man hits a woman EVERYONE knows it’s not okay, okay well if they don’t they should, but when a woman hits a man all of a sudden he is a wuss! See a problem with this? It is not okay for a woman to whale on a man just as it is not okay for a man to hit a woman. This song basically says it is okay for domestic abuse to happen, which is not true at all!

So anyway while that was going on I thought of Rihanna and Eminem’s song and how it is very much condoning, even glamourizing it, making it look okay and even normal. So here it is inspired by true events and real life. These are the messages that constantly bombard our society. Are you going to give them the power to choose for you?